I always knew cheese would take over the world. But did anyone believe me? No, of course not!
“Don’t believe that wacko!” they would say. But now it’s my turn to laugh…
It all began about twenty years ago on October 9, 2004, when I was happily munching on a piece of my favorite cheese…cheddar!
I have always loved cheese. I loved everything about it, the taste, the color, everything! I then went to sleep for the night thinking of my cheddar. But during the night I had a dream I could have sworn was real… It was sometime in the future and I saw myself standing on this floating platform surrounded by cheese. And the biggest cheese of all spoke to me. He said something in another language I didn’t understand and right after that I said, screaming to billions, if not trillions of people standing below me,
“I am the Big Cheese, the new ruler of this world!”
I woke up at that time with my heart racing. I thought my heart would explode. Thinking nothing of it, I went back to sleep. And then I had the same exact dream…only this time the big cheese that spoke also congratulated me on being able to learn the language. After that I woke up and refused to go to sleep the rest of the night. That day I went about with my normal routine and thought of what in the world the dream could mean. As time passed, I slowly began to forget about the dream.
Until one day, which I will never forget, October 9, 2010, (which I now noticed was exactly 6 years after my dream), my best friend, John Finkelheimer, that is, Dr. Finkelheimer, called me up and almost shouted over the phone.
“ Bob, Bob, come over quickly!! I’ve made an amazing discovery! You have to come see this!! Now!”
“Ok, I’ll be right over.”
I hopped into my shiny new green Corvette and practically flew over to John’s house. As soon as I got there he waved for me to come inside. I opened the door and said my “hellos” to John as we walked down the long steps into his basement.
“I’ve just made an amazing discovery! I have just found proof of life on other planets!!”
“WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?! ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!??!?!??!?!??!”
“Of course, why would I joke about something like this?”
“Lots of reasons.”
“Well, anyway, it’s true, I found a message that I traced to another galaxy!!! And if my calculations are correct, it was sent around the year 2004.”
It was at that moment I remembered my dream. I cowardly asked if I could see it.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
The message said this, “I am the big cheese, future ruler of your world!”
I had no idea what that could possibly mean, but again it reminded me of my dream. Then it hit me, maybe this is the language that the big cheese congratulated me on knowing.
“Umm… John, do you have any idea what this means?”
“Not a clue.”
“John, I want you to listen to me very carefully, if you ever get any message like this ever again please tell me as soon as you get it.”
“Ok, you got it.”
I left John’s house shaking. I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, the dream was starting to come true. This was all too weird to be just coincidence. I went to the store and bought the biggest package of cheese I could, to try and calm my nerves. I went home and started to happily munch on my package of cheese. When I was about half way through my cheese, I got another phone call from John urging me to come back.
I realized that John must have gotten another call from the cheese. This scared me to death, I already knew what this message must say. I realized that the first message must have said that The Big Cheese was going to rule the world. This message must then congratulate me for learning the language. I got in my car, but this time drove very slowly, as if to stay away from the truth of the matter. When I finally got there I walked straight down to the basement.
“This is amazing,” John said, “This is just like the other message”
“Brilliant deduction, John”
“Wow, someone’s in a bad mood.”
“Sorry I’m just a little stressed out about this”
“Why? You should be happy.”
“Well, I think there’s something you should know.”
“What is it?”
“Ok, just don’t laugh.”
“Ok, I won’t”
“6 years ago to the day, I had a really weird dream that I was interpreter to The Big Cheese. Who I guess is some sort of galactic ruler. It was in the future and everyone was listening to what The Big Cheese had to say. I was his second in command. Then I had another dream the same night where he congratulated me about learning this language. That’s what I think this message says.”
John said, “Ok,” while struggling to hold back a laugh. Needless to say I was furious.
“Forget it,” I said, “Just let me see the message.”
To my dismay…the message clearly read: “I congratulate you on learning the language.”
The end……or the beginning???