Girls, Please Don’t Expect A Teenager To Be A Father!
He plays GameBoy all day. He can’t remember to brush his teeth unless told to do so. He doesn’t see the need for a shower until his parents tell him it’s necessary. He has a slight problem with acne breakouts on his forehead and upper back…doesn’t care. He stopped wearing his retainer one summer, because he thought he remembered that the orthodontist said he could stop when he was in H.S. Never bothered to tell us. What he was remembering was that the guy at the pet store who sold us his California King snake said he’d have this snake through high school. His $4700, straight teeth are now slightly crooked again on the bottom.
Don’t get me wrong; this kid is the love of my life. My husband and I prayed for this child. He’s our only one, because it took us 10 years and countless infertility tests and procedures to have him. We had him after 14 years of marriage. He was a preemie, with a double hernia, and a patent ductus heart murmur. He was on medication for the first year of his life…and we spent endless hours at the doctors offices, therapists offices, or in hospitals.
We’ve spoiled him. We love him, protect him; do things with him and for him…he’s a great kid. We love spending time with him, and so will you. When he goes away to college, or moves out on his own, our nest will be very empty. We’ll look forward to having grandchildren, then. But speaking of college, there’s a plan. He’s headed there, and we’ve agreed to pay for the 5th year for him to get his Master’s Degree. You’ll thank us, when you’re married to him, because he can support you and a family…and won’t need to take time away from his family to return to school.
I just want to tell you, he’s not ready at this time in his life, by any stretch of the imagination, to be in charge of someone else…he can barely take care of himself. Don’t be fooled by his outward appearance. He’s very handsome, tall, and lean with dark brown hair and eyes. He’s adorable, and expressive, with dark eyebrows and long eyelashes which he inherited from my husband. Which certainly attracted me when I was 15 years old, and in high school.
He’s on the golf team at school, gets straight A’s, he’s very active in all areas of church ministry, very personable, friendly, and funny. To be quite frank, he’s really good husband material, he’s got enormous potential. He’s strong and he’ll help you do anything, as long as you tell him what to do. He’s great in Math and Science, great with kids, kind, and housebroken. But he’s not a puppy to take home and train. Allow God the time he needs to mature my son, so that he’s ready, willing, and able to be a father to someone…someday.
Don’t be in a hurry. Growing up takes time.
While you’re waiting for my son to grow up, prepare yourself also. Pray for God’s plan for you. Children should not raise children. Enjoy your childhood, as our son is enjoying his. Gather as many skills along the way as you can, for your career, and for your family. Develop your talents, follow your dreams, and know yourself and your passions for life. Bring them with you into your marriage, when the Lord says the time is right, and then ask God together to help you grow a new generation, your children.
Get support along the way, also. Don’t depend so heavily upon my son to meet your every need. Just as he needs to be a whole person before he enters into marriage, so do you. It’s a lifetime commitment and should be taken very seriously. You’re both so important to the Lord apart, and even more so when you become one!
I’ve been praying for both of you since he was born! When God sends him “The One,” believe me, I’ll love her with all my heart! And finally have a daughter!