Growing up as the son of a pastor, I learned to filter my emotions; how to respond to things.. to people. It becomes second nature to create a persona that is likable and attractive to everyone. The following is pure and unfiltered “Dallas,” consisting of sensitive thoughts and material I have never told anyone before. I am letting you enter my world:

“NOOO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOO!”

The room was spinning. I clung to my uncle and Mema and everything around me, hopelessly looking around the living room for some kind of sign. Searching the faces of my brothers, my eyes asked theirs if this could be true. The deepest groanings and darkest places of the universe cannot communicate the grief.

After school on Wednesday December 10, 2008 we were picked up by our Mema, which usually meant that it must have been a bad day for Mom. “Your…