I received this e-mail awhile ago:
“Ladies this e-mail will answer all your questions…
Men Are Different!
They think differently…
Talk differently…
Are interested…
Or not interested…
In different things!
The sooner we realize it the better off we’ll be…
And the easier it will be to get along…
Why Men Are Seldom Depressed!
Men are just happier people:
Their last name stays put…
The garage is all theirs…
Wedding plans take care of themselves…
Chocolate is just another snack…
They can be President…
Car mechanics tell them the truth…
Same work, more pay…
Wrinkles add character…
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100…
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet…
One mood all the time…
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat…
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase…
They can open all their own jars…
They get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness…
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough…
They are unable to see wrinkles in their clothes..
They don’t need to put on a new face every day…
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades…
They only have to shave their face and neck…
They can play with toys all their life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes! One color for all seasons…
They can ‘do’ their nails with a pocket knife…
They have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache…
They can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes…
No wonder men are happier!! Ha!
Nicknames:
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah…
If Mike, Dave, and John go out for lunch, they will affectionately call each other Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman…
Eating Out:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back…
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators…
Money:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs…
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale…
Bathrooms:
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel…
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337…A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items…
Arguments: A woman has the last word in any argument…
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument…
Future:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband…
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife…
Marriage:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t…
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does…
Dressing Up:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
answer the phone, or go get the mail…
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals…
Natural:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed…
Women somehow deteriorate during the night…
Offspring:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, hopes, and dreams…
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house…
Though For The Day:
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!”
P.S. Read about relationships:
Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray, Ph.D.
Laughing Your Way To A Happy Marriage by Pastor Mark Gungor
Men and Women
Most can’t agree:
On what a “lazy” Sunday afternoon looks like…
What “straighten up the house” entails…
How long “working on the car” takes…
Or what, “I’ll be ready in five minutes!” really means…
Just the other day…
I was listening as my husband spoke on the phone to his good friend, Dave…
“Oh, No!!! What did you do, Davie???
Your new puppy? Big mess? While you were out playing golf? And she was at church?
And the volume in your house is on ‘MUTE!!!?!’
Oh, No! Georgie can’t help you with this one, Buddy!!!
Why??? Because no matter what you say or do…you’re wrong!!!
So, just say you’re sorry and be done with it!!
I’m telling you, Friend…
It’s a grey area!! With women!”
So, by now I’m laughing, because I can’t hear Davie’s end of the conversation…
But I have an answer, nonetheless!
“Swallow you’re pride…
Say you’re sorry…
Put your ‘puppy tail’ between your legs…
And beg for forgiveness!!”
My husband conveys my message and says…
“Doesn’t matter if she said you could go…
Clean up the mess!!”
See???
Opposites!!!
Thank God they attract!
But both men and women can agree on our love for Jesus!!
And how we need His love for us!
Don’t you find that amazing???
In our household…
I’m not a morning person…He is!
I do the paperwork…He can’t!
He’s super observant…I’m not!
I’m a clean-up-as-you-go cook…He’s messy and doesn’t care!
He’s trained to handle a crisis…I melt down!
But…
It’s okay, because…
Jesus and I are opposites, too!
And Opposites Attract!!!
Yipee!!
I’m weak…He’s strong!
I’m human…He’s divine!
I’m selfish…He’s selfless!
He’s sinless!
He’s love!!
He’s Holy!
God’s the Creator!
God’s perfect!
God never changes!
God never fails!
Lord, I Can’t Get Over You!
Men and women are opposites…
And they disagree on many things…
But somehow in Jesus…
We all find what we need!
We all seem to agree!!
Men and women from all walks of life…
Every country…
People who can’t agree on politics…
Or the economy…
Or even on which of our major world problems to try solve first…
Can agree that we adore the love of our Savior for us!
It’s amazing!
We can meet someone totally different from us…
And still just know that they possess the love of Jesus…
That They Have His Heart!
Psalm 8:4
“What is mankind that You are mindful of them,
human beings that You care for them?“
You love like no other…
Not anything that I do…
You forgive me…
I choose to stay here with You!
Hold me…
Closer…
Can’t lose this moment…
You’re love has covered me!
And now I can’t get over You!
I just can’t get over You
Arms of my Father…
Grace can be found…
Lay my fears down…
Not the same anymore…
Changed from the inside out..
Heart is beating…
Can’t get over the way…
Your love stays the same…
All the time…
You stay the same…
My song remains…
Oh, Lord…
Nothing I can’t do…
Except get over You!
I’ll never get over You!!
Amen!
godssceneryandpromises 